A short (funny) guide to understand corporate letters.
Tuesday, May 29th, 2007
As example I’ll use phrases from e-mails EXPEDIA sent to me when they tried to scam me: (Read my case at : http://www.victimsofexpedia.com/mycase.htm ). But you would find very familiar most of these phrases.
First at all EXPEDIA’s messages (or most corporate messages) are well written letters from superior people with a deep knowledge and understanding of grammar, semantic and dialectic. We customers are ignorant, retarded, with difficulties in understanding basic concepts of communication.
This is a short guide to understand what we customers believe EXPEDIA is telling us and what EXPEDIA is really telling us.
It took me while to appreciate the real meaning of the messages I had in my mailbox.
| What you think EXPEDIA tells you |
What EXPEDIA is telling you |
| Dear Customer |
Retarded customer; You idiot, |
| Thanks for contacting EXPEDIA |
Why are you bothering us? |
| Thanks for choosing EXPEDIA |
Thanks for giving us a chance to scam you |
| Your feedback is important to us |
Your money is important to us |
| We will contact you within 72 hr |
Don’t bother us for 72 hr, call us after 1-4 weeks when you don’t hear from us. Better, don’t call us again |
| Please allow 1-2 billing cycles for the credit to reflect to your statement |
Don’t expect your money back in less than 6 month. Better, forget about your money. |
| Sorry for the long delay in resolving your case |
We couldn’t find earlier an excuse to keep your money |
| I wish to apologize for the fact that you have not been contacted |
We need more time to find an excuse to scam you |
| We understand you have some issues with our services |
We know you don’t want to be scammed |
| As a sign of goodwill we’ll reimburse you 800 U$D for the 1229.99 U$D we charged in your credit card. |
We will steal 429.99 U$D from your credit card |
| We’ll offer you a coupon for 150 U$D for future purchases |
We want another chance to scam you |
| We regret this incident |
We regret we couldn’t scam you |
| We are sorry this issue was not resolved to your satisfaction |
We are sorry you don’t accept being scammed; we are sorry you figured out we were trying to scam you |
I’ll keep updating this page at: www.victimsofexpedia.com/jokes01.htm
EXPEDIA -旅行的受害者-欺骗-诈欺-飞行-票-顾客服务-成交-假期-目的地-代码- E票-问题-问题
322 9/11 911 action Adventure advice alex American Ancient anciet andrews answers ap arab Aristotle art Arts b bailey bible bio Biotechnology Blog Bones Bonesmen Book books brain broker brokers bush Business c++ Card Cheat cheatsheet Chess children China Christian Christianity CIA college comedy Comic Computer Computers consolidation Cooking Cool corporate Counterplan court CP creation credit crime cult culture dating David de deangelo death debate debt Design development drugs défis ebook Education edwards egypt Energy Espanol Essay Etext ethics evil exercice Family fantasy Fiction File Finance financial Food form français free Freedom freemason freemasonry FreeVerse French full FullText fun Funny future Game Games german Giuliani God good Google gore Government grammaire Great Griffin Ground Guide guide guitar Gutenberg hack happiness HDPDF Health Hero high Historical History Home horror How Humor Illuminati information Instruction Internet investment iraq Islam Jack Japan java Jesus jewish JFK Jones judaism k kabalah Kerry Keyboard Kritik language Law learning lecture leçon Libertarian Life linux literature London love magazine magic Make Management Manual map Maps marketing marriage mason masonic masonry math maths media Metaphysics Military money Mozart music Muslim Mystery Nature Nazi Neck New news Nonfiction note Notes novel NWO online paper Paranormal PDF people Philosophy philosphy Physics piano pickup Plato PLAY poem poetry poker police policy Politics Power Programming project Psychology pyramid quantum quickref Recipe recipes recommendation recommendations recs Reference relationships Religion repair research rituals Romance sacred School Science SciFi Sckalor Search Secret security SelfHelp sex Sheet Short Shortcuts Skull smart social society software solutions Sopranos South Spanish sphinx spirituality startup stockmarket Story success Tarpley teaching Technology templar terror terrorism Test textbook Theology theory TIA tintin tips to trading Traffic training Travel truth Tutorial u.s. USA War web Windows work working world writing WTC wtc7 Your Zero Slachtoffers van EXPEDIA - reis - fraude - scam - Vlucht - Kaartje - de dienst van de Klant - Overeenkomst - Vakantie - Bestemming - code - e-Kaartje - Probleem - Kwestie
Opfer von EXPEDIA - Spielraum - Betrug - scam - Flug - Karte - Kundendienst - Abkommen - Ferien - Bestimmungsort - Code - E-Karte - Problem - Ausgabe
victimes d’EXPEDIA - voyage - fraude - scam - vol - billet - service à la clientèle - affaire - vacances - destination - code - E-billet - problème - question
θύματα EXPEDIA - ταξίδι - απάτη - απάτη - πτήση - εισιτήριο - εξυπηρέτηση πελατών - διαπραγμάτευση - διακοπές - προορισμός - κώδικας - ε-εισιτήριο - πρόβλημα - ζήτημα
vittime di EXPEDIA - corsa - frode - scam - volo - biglietto - servizio di cliente - affare - vacanza - destinazione - codice - E-biglietto - problema - edizione
EXPEDIA -旅行-の犠牲者欺瞞-詐欺-飛行-切符-カスタマーサービス-取り引き-休暇-行先-コード- E切符-問題-問題
EXPEDIA - 여행 -의 피해자 사기 - 사기 - 비행 - 표 - 소비자 봉사 - 거래 - 휴가 - 목적지 - 부호 - E 표 - 문제 - 문제점
vítimas de EXPEDIA - curso - fraud - scam - vôo - bilhete - serviço de cliente - negócio - férias - destino - código - E-bilhete - problema - edição
жертвы EXPEDIA - перемещения - очковтирательство - scam - полет - билет - предоставления услуг покупателю - дело - каникула - назначение - Кодий - E-билет - проблема - вопрос
víctimas de EXPEDIA - viaje - recorrido - fraude - scam - vuelo - boleto - servicio de cliente - reparto - vacaciones - destinación - código - E-boleto - problema - edición - Expedia trato de estafarme 1254.95 U$D
offer av EXPEDIA - resa - bedrägerit - scam - flyg - etikettera - kundtjänst - avtal - semestern - destination - kodifierar - E-etikettera - problem - utfärdar
Algeria Argentina Australia Austria Bahrain Bangladesh Belarus Belgium Bolivia Bosnia and Herzegovina Brazil Bulgaria Canada Chile China Colombia Costa Rica Croatia Cyprus Czech Republic Denmark Dominican Republic Ecuador Egypt Serbia and Montenegro Singapore Slovakia Slovenia South Africa South Korea Spain Sri Lanka Sudan Sweden Switzerland Syrian Arab Republic Taiwan Thailand Trinidad and Tobago Tunisia Turkey Ukraine United Arab Emirates United Kingdom United States Uruguay Venezuela Vietnam Yemen El Salvador Estonia Finland France Georgia Germany Greece Guatemala Honduras Hong Kong Hungary India Indonesia Iran Ireland Israel Italy Japan Jordan Kazakhstan Kuwait Latvia Lebanon Lithuania Macao Malaysia Mauritius Mexico Moldova Mongolia Morocco Netherlands New Zealand Nicaragua Norway Oman Pakistan Palestinian Territory Panama Paraguay Peru Philippines Poland Portugal Puerto Rico Qatar Ro
mania Russia Saudi Arabia Bebés Deportes Electrónica Flores Hogar Informática Jardín Juguetes Libros Listas de Boda Maletas Música Moda y Complementos Ofertas Papelería Películas Perfumería y Cosmética Tienda Exprés Relojes Revelado Digital Supermercado Club del Gourmet Tarjeta Regalo Telefonía Venta de entradas Viajes Videojuegos Vinos Loterías y Apuestas Venta a Empresas Coches Venta de seguros Viviendas
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www.site59.com Weekly Travel Deals: www.travelzoo.comh ttp://www.sidestep.com/deals/weekly/ www.travelfleamarket.com http://www.shermanstravel.com/top25/
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-srv…eals/index.htm Unknown/Bidding For Travel www.priceline.com www.hotwire.com www.biddingfortravel.com
www.bidontravel.com www.skyauction.com Hawaii: www.hawaiiconnection.com http://travel-hawaii.com/ www.greathawaiivacations.com/ http://hawaiihotelsreservations.com/ http://hawaii.hotelclub.com/
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www.cheapcaribbean.com www.changes.com www.stsvacations.com http://www.tropicaltravel.net/vacati…s/d/caribbean/ www.caribbeanvisitorcenter.com/
www.travelizone.com/ www.mexicovacations.com/ Florida/Orlando: www.2000orlando-florida.com/ http://www.orlandoinfo.com/
http://orlando.hotelscorp.com/ www.floridahotels.dealsonhotels.com/ www.orlandoescape.com/ http://www.happydayskeywest.com/
http://www.floridavacationstore.com/ http://hotel-guides.us/florida/fl-hotels.html www.hotel-rates.com/us/florida/orlando/
www.mousesavers.com Student/Hostel Travel: www.studentuniverse.com www.statravel.com www.ststravel.com www.smartertravel.com/student-travel/
http://studenttravel.about.com/ www.internationalstudent.com/travel/ www.flashbooking.com/index.do www.hostelworld.com www.hostelbookers.com
www.hostelsclub.com www.hostelscentral.com www.hostelmania.com www.hostelaccommodation.com/www.hostels.com
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Flights to europe - Flights to Asia - Flights to Africa - Flights to South America - Flights to China - Flights to Australia - Flight centre - Flights to world destinations -customer care expedia - is Orbitz or Priceline or Travelocity better than EXPEDIA? What about other travel agencies? I would prefer my own travel agency - Expedia Travel: Cheap Airfare, Hotels, Car Rental, Vacations & Cruises - Expedia - Corporate Travel - Maximize your travel savings. lies and unethical business practice - Flights - Flight Search: Find Cheap Airfares and Book Online! Cheap Tickets: Cheap Flights, Hotels, Vacations, Last Minute Trips - Flight Arrivals & Departures- travel advice - bill of right - code of ethics - airline stocks - chinese stock - viajes - boletos - Espana - spaniards - american idol - World Golf Championships - usa tourist scam - go with confidence (he he he he he h e, what a lie!!) new campaign - ethics - code of ethics - tales - scamtasia - casafaris - nigerian scam - 419 scam –
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The more I read about his case, the more I believe him. Regardless, I’m sending you this letter but he says that you will probably never answer this message because you are only interested in money. According to him, for EXPEDIA it is more profitable to cheat customers than to answer their questions.